King Size Life March 2025

Brigadier Toni Lidder’s wife remembers the love of her life in a moving book. An extract

Geetika Lidder

He was rapidly developing a good rapport with the General and had started understanding many facets of his personality. At the same time, Mrs Rawat and I formed a wonderfully close bond. Genteel, simple, caring and concerned, she was easy to relate to. She would just call and have a casual conversation, ‘What have you cooked for lunch? Or ‘You will need to buy some suits, so let’s go to Dilli Haat.’ This humility endeared her to people. When it came to her work, she was very clear about what she wanted. She had her ideas about how she wanted a few things done as the president of the Defence Wives’ Welfare Association (DWWA). Her major contribution was to bring all the services under one roof. I think I mostly understood her requirements. She admired my way of independent functioning and the fact that I could make presentations and reports by myself without any support. In fact, she often joked that I was her one-woman army. After a short period, we understood each other even better and developed a comfortable rapport. The lady officers who were with Mrs Rawat also appreciated the way we all functioned together as a team. Here I must mention the contribution of Colonel Kavita Gusain and Colonel Aarti Chopra—both of them were Staff Officers to Mrs Rawat in succession. We have spent many wonderful times together under the umbrella of kindness created by our dear Mrs Rawat.

What I really admired about her was that she never complained about my unavailability in the morning. Usually, all senior ladies preferred to finish their charter of duties such as ladies’ meetings, social events, gatherings for coffee, and for the DWWA in the morning. But Mrs Rawat ensured that our meetings and ladies’ social events were held in the evenings. We would connect after 3 p.m. once I logged off work (we were still teaching online). Occasionally, I would take leave from school to be present at an important event. When I look back, I feel grateful to have known her so closely.

General and Mrs Rawat and Toni spent a lot of time together travelling for work. Every week they would go on at least two outstation trips. I would joke with Toni, ‘You travel to and fro to cities just as we go to Karol Bag.’ Once I was lucky enough to travel with them to the Czech Republic in November 2021. It was one of the most glamorous and memorable trips of my life, an amazing amalgamation of learning and fun. We saw the entire country, thanks to meticulous planning by the governm